Internet Dating Tips For Men
by Sharon Jacobsen
I feel for men! Really, I do! Dating can't be easy.
I'd hate to have to be the one to make the first move all the time, and even in these days of equality and red stockings, when it comes to dating, men are still expected to do the chasing.
It's in our genes, y'see. We ladies, without even knowing we're doing it, expect men to be the aggressors while we sit around, all sweet and maidenly, waiting to be "claimed".
Well, ok - maybe it isn't quite that bad but there are certain "rules" nature expects us to follow, one of which is that men eye a room full of ladies, choose the one they instinctively believe will be a good mother for their children - or in modern terms "who do I want to shag tonight?" - and home in on her. We ladies then respond by judging whether or not he's worthy of impregnating us. It's all very "basic instinct" and for the shy guys out there, it can't be very much fun at all.
But now we have Internet dating! Talk about a life saver! Just log on, browse around, look at a few pictures, find somebody who looks "a good mother" and right there in front of you are the details you'd otherwise probably spend a whole evening and four or five drinks getting out of her. Men have never had it so good!
"I'm a shy, single mother," she writes. Hmm.... do you want a ready-made family? If it appeals, you read on. If not - move on to the next one. Nobody's going to be offended.
"I'm looking for commitment" the next one says. Are you? If a life-long relationship with a good-looking woman is part of your plan, read on. If not - move on.... you get the picture?
In the time you'd spend trying to find out whether one woman in the pub is single, has children and wants commitment, you could have found all sorts of information about a dozen or more women on the Net! And without a single chat-up line in sight!
So let's say you've found a profile that appeals. You want to contact this woman and you know how important those first impressions are. What do you do?
Follow the tips!
1. Don't come across as being over-eager. This is a common mistake men make and something women find a huge turn off. Drop her a message telling her you liked her profile because "you found it witty/you share her interest in Bolivian glass blowing/your ambition is also to swim with dolphins". It's ok to tell her you liked her profile picture but don't tell her she looks shaggable or has tits to die for!
2. Tell her a bit about yourself. Don't just write "if you want to know more, take a look at my profile" even if you spent a whole evening figuring out what to write to impress the ladies. She wants you to tell "her" about yourself, not just read what you've told the rest of the world.
3. If you want to enjoy dating - don't lie! I know it's tempting but if you don't look like Tom Cruise, don't say you do. And even if others have said you look like him, you still don't need to mention it. Your picture will tell her all she needs to know in that department and nobody likes a big-head!
If, on the other hand, you have some negative traits (some might say resembling Tom Cruise falls into that category), it's just as well to mention them at the start. After all, if you were in a bar, you wouldn't be able to hide your wooden leg or steel hook, would you?
The thing to remember is that by underplaying yourself - although that doesn't mean you should tell her you look like a hog and never shower - when you eventually meet, she'll be positively surprised. Lie now and the reverse will happen leaving you with an unnecessarily bruised ego.
4. Show interest in her. If she's said her favorite newspaper's The Times, ask her who her favorite columnist is. People always like those that show interest in them and if we're honest, we're all more interested in talking than listening! When dating, you could sit for a whole evening hardly saying a word about yourself but asking lots of questions and she'd probably go home raving to her girlfriends about "what an interesting guy you are"!
5. If she's showing interest, message her regularly. The online part of dating is just as important as what happens when you eventually meet. Savor it while it lasts because it's something you'll never get back once you've met.
6. Make sure she knows what you want. If all you want is a little fun with the lady, don't give her the impression she's messaging with a potential life partner. Likewise, if you want love, you don't want to be wasting your time with women who want a companion to share parties and visits to the cinema with. Dating means different things to different people - be clear about what it means to you.
7. Don't move too quickly - let her pace the way. If she wants to meet she'll drop hints, and although men aren't exactly famed for being the brightest bulbs in the box when it comes to picking up on these things, it's easier when you have a written message to study.
8. Don't ask her for her telephone number or address! If you really want to talk to her, give her your phone number. If you're uncomfortable giving out your home number, give her your mobile number.
9. Relax and enjoy yourself. Regardless of what your online contact leads to, there's no reason to not enjoy what you have while you have it.
Whether you're looking for love or just a bit of fun with a lady, the Internet can expose you to more women in one night than you'd otherwise meet in a month. Men have never had it so easy so get yourself out there now and starting having fun! Dating is what you make it! And that's a tip in itself!
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