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Online Dating Safety
by Sharon Jacobsen
The Internet has opened up a whole new world of dating with more and more people going online every day, looking for fun, friendship or lasting, loving relationship. But when it comes to online dating safety, what should they bear in mind?
It's important to remember that the Internet is really no different to any other area of society. Sure, it has its share of freaks and weirdoes but it also has a high percentage of nice people who aren't interested in any more than living a normal life surrounded by good friends and a loving family.
The problem is, you just don't know who's who.
That doesn't mean all is lost, though. There are a few things you can do to improve your chances of meeting decent people who are who they say they are. The following tips should help you stay safe whilst enjoying yourself.
Never use your real name
When you join an online dating or friendship site, never sign up with your real name. Sites that take your safety seriously will always ask you to choose a username (sometimes called a screen name or member name). Make sure this name isn't easily connected to you.
Use an anonymous email account
When it comes to safety, email accounts such as hotmail, yahoo and the likes are the best option when communicating with people you've met online. Keep your personal email for those who know you well.
If you try to join a site that refuses to accept anonymous email accounts, find another. If a dating site's serious about member safety, they'll understand your need for an email account that can't easily be traced back to you.
Take Your Time and Get To Know Them!
If you feel you're being rushed into meeting, perhaps you're communicating with the wrong person.
The Internet offers lots of ways of communicating, from email to instant messengers and real-time chats through a microphone attached to a webcam. With so much choice, there's really no reason for anybody to insist on meeting you before you're comfortable.
Spend your time online to get to know your date. Do his moods change often? Do they sometimes say things that don't quite add up? Ask the kind of questions that'll tell you as much as possible about the other person. Why does he never mention cooking or cleaning if he lives alone? Everybody has chores to do and everybody complains now and then. If she really lives alone, why can she never come online before 10pm? Is there somebody else there that she isn't telling you about? It's important for your safety that you know as much as possible before you agree to meet.
Use The Phone
While the relationship is still online, dating safety isn't too much of an issue. This changes once you take the first step towards taking the relationship offline.
While it's not 100 percent safe for men to give out their phone numbers, women are by far more vulnerable. If a man wants a woman to feel secure, he'll always offer his own number rather than ask for hers and women are advised to use caller ID blocking.
Chatting on the phone give you a chance to evaluate things you can't know about through online chats. What's going on in the background? Can you phone anytime you want or only when he says it's ok? Can she call you at any time or is she restricted in some way?
Ask for photos
If the photo your online date has posted on their profile isn't a true likeness, it's doubtful they'll have more than the one picture. Ask to see more.
If he or she has said they have a family, ask to see photos. Do the kids look comfortable with their mother/father? Do their physical appearances match those described? Does he/she look the right age?
If you still feel comfortable with this person and have decided to take the relationship one step further by moving it offline, it's time to start considering your safety when meeting. By following a few tips, you'll stand a far better chance of enjoying your online date in the offline world without getting into potentially dangerous situations.
Make sure you know what to expect
This might sound obvious but too many people meet their online dates without really knowing what the other expects of them.
If you're looking for love with a guy who's looking for no-strings fun, you're setting yourself up to get hurt. Likewise, if you lead your dates to believe you're offering something you're not willing to deliver, you could be moving toward a potentially nasty experience.
Meet in a public place
Yes, I know this is one of those online dating safety tips that have been mentioned time and time again but this is advice you really ought to follow.
As long as there are plenty of people about, dating somebody you met online will be far safer. Quite simply, if your date turns out to be a less than savory character, you'll stand a much greater chance of getting away safely.
If you're meeting in a large town or city, finding a busy public place won't be a problem. If you're in a small village, however, the chances are that even the main shopping street will be quiet on a Wednesday at 8pm! If that's the case, meet in a pub or restaurant.
Tell somebody where you're going
Another much harped on about piece of advice but again, one that can mean the difference between pleasurable dating and putting your safety at risk.
Let a friend know where you'll be going and with who. Tell her what time you expect to be home and that you'll call her at that time.
Just remember, should you find yourself having the time of your life so that your plans for getting home chance, DO make that call or you could cause unnecessarily concern about your safety.
Take a mobile phone with you
And what's more, make sure it's charged!
Have somebody call you about half an hour after you've arranged to meet. If you're uncomfortable with your date, you can always say it was the babysitter/your mother/your business partner and that you need to go. If all's well, just say it was a friend who thought she might pop round.
Not only is this a safety net for you, it will also let your date know that there are people out there who will quickly miss you if you're not where you're expected to be.
Arrange your own transport
Use your own car if you have one, otherwise arrange for somebody to meet you.
If you're a woman, don't agree to go anywhere in his car alone unless you're absolutely sure you feel safe with him.
Obviously, this goes for anybody you meet, regardless of whether you met them online or not. Your safety is important and there are too many people out there who won't think twice about hurting you. Use your intuition - that's why you were given it!
Never leave your drink unattended
You don't want to risk having something nasty slipped into you drink so take precautions. If you must leave the table, take your drink with you.
Enjoy yourself
If you've followed our online dating safety tips, you stand a good chance of having an enjoyable date. And when everything else is said and done, having fun is what it's all about.
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